The Milano Has Landed!

R and I fly out to Southeast Asia together for 5 weeks tomorrow! We are super pumped and I am giving him packing techniques as I type . This is R’s first big backpacking trip (ourside of India for 2-3 months at a time). This is probbaly my third major trip (meaning over a month long abroad) and about my 10th minor one. Historically I have ventured out alone…but this time I have my man with me. Because we’ve been doing the long-distance thing for about a year and a half we are curious to see how we will get along together 24/7 (btw he just permanently moved to my city and we are so pumped!). We have already discussed a plan where we are totally cool with separating for a few days if we need space. As many people have said before, travel can test a relationship. As most of you know, I love a good challenge, so this should be interesting!!

Things I’ve noticed so far: R is the more laid back one. This is quite shocking for me because up until now I’ve thought I was the most Type B as they come. So far I’ve been doing most of the planning, thinking, and instructing. “R go get your Chinese passport!!!” “R you need a better day pack!!!” “R you are only bringing 6 pairs of underwear?!” I feel kind of like a nag…I’m never a nag (am I???).

When R’s just bopping through clouds of sunshine and singing, yes, literally singing, down the sidewalk I’m calculating our next move. When we feel a little tension we usually just laugh it off because at the end of the day I can’t totally pull off the Type A thing. But someone has to lead the ship right?! So as far as our planning and stuff has gone, I have sort of fell into this role.

So we hit the sky tomorrow. I am pretty pumped…it is different not going solo. I do feel a little more secure than usual–which is nice. We’ll see how we do…and what we think of eachother after 5 straight weeks together!

Countries planned:

Thailand
Cambodia
Vietnam

To be determined…
Malaysia
Bali
Laos

Stay tuned…typically I like to blog a lot about my travels!

Though you may love or loathe ‘em, I’m an unabashed fan of the Sex and the City gals have had a ton of fun following them over the years. At the very least, I think they cracked open alternatives for women and posed some good questions about dating, love, sex, and relationships. As I was thinking about the opening of the movie a few weeks ago (heart palpitations), I wondered…what if one of the girls had dated an Indian guy?
I’ve toyed around with several senarios in my mind…who would be most accepting of the culture? Who would bend to Indian ways (if necessary)? Who would offend? (heh hem that’s easy…I love her…but Sam!).
What do you guys think? Are you a Charolotte, a Carrie, and how to those traits manifest and play into your intercultural relationship (if at all)???

..but I’ve been doing some mindless surfing on a site D recommended on another blog and found the answer to this interview question (by the author of “The Conscious Bride”) fascinating:

Do you think women still cling to the Cinderella image of the bride that we were all fed when we were little girls?

In my opinion, most women, no matter how educated and conscious and feminist they are, still cling to the Cinderella image somewhere in their psyche. The image is so deeply ingrained into our subconscious minds from the time we are little girls that it is virtually impossible to escape it. And this isn’t necessarily a “bad” or sexist thing. We need to make a distinction between wanting to look and feel beautiful on our wedding day and obsessively trying to achieve an impossible image of perfection. We all want to look beautiful on our wedding day, but the realistic woman allows for life and chaos to affect her day.

**************************************************************************
I thought about myself and my own Cinderella complex… I mean, I definitely have an “Occasional Big Bitch” complex but not so much Cindy. If I can be Nietzsche for a moment, I usually think, “Cinderella is dead” (the rest if you get over it).

I never really grew up with the Cindy myth. I was fat and painfully awkward in high school. I thought dating was for everyone else and abstract obsessions over guys were exclusive for me. My dad never treated me like a princess…at all. Never did, never has. Frankly he treats me like a guy who needs to go out, bring home the bacon, and be entirely self sufficient (never mind my brother who is sitting on a self-absorptive meditative cloud in China fully funded by pops).

Even though I’ve changed, got my body healthy, and I guess am pretty cute (R makes me feel like freggin’ Heidi Klum), I can’t ever shake some of those adolescent impressions. Many people will tell you, if you’ve ever been fat and not so good looking in your life (especially early in life) — it never leaves you. You never forget how people treat you better (some like royalty) if you lose 30 lbs. You never forget that social shift and how you always, essentially feel like the same you.

At one time in my life I was very idealistic. Idealism can be a trap though. I’ve lowered a lot of expectations and the basic thing I want, if I ever get married, is for my parents to do their best to behave normally. Specifically, my mother has drifted through her life as an anxious borderline and this would be the only time I would ever have to suffer the effects of it again. Everything else–I got down in my own life.

In some ways maybe my dysfunctional family prevented my having a Cinderella complex. Maybe if you never know what it’s like to be a princess you’ll never really know how to act like one. Maybe if you get hurt enough you realize the myth is dead.

As I was laying in bed last night, thinking about all I’ve been through, I can’t imagine having a feeling that could ever trump the sheer gratitude and wonder I feel for finding my perfect mate.

My buddy Gori “tagged” me to do this fun little thing that has you list six quirks about yourself. Since I have the computer skills of a caveman, I don’t know how to tag six more people, so I’ll just ask them at the end of listing my six quirks . Here’s Gori’s post:

http://gorigirl.com/why-is-the-goat-wearing-a-sweater-six-unspectacular-quirks-meme

And my own responses:

1. I’m the only American who gains weight in India. It’s true. I get food poisoning like 4 times a year in the States, but in India? Perfect bill of abdominal health…so perfect I stuff myself with the delicious food and grow extra curry filled padding. It baffles even the best of travelers in India.

2. I would probably date 2/3 of the guys on Beauty and the Geek.

3. I don’t like to share my soup with my boyfriend or anyone else for that matter. One day, R kindly asked me if I’d like to try some of his soup and I responded coldly: “I don’t share soup.” The whole idea of licking someone’s soup utensil repulses me.

4. I have taken a whiz in some of the most creative, exotic places in the world. I’m not sure if this is because I never made it past the phallic stage, or if it’s simply a survival skill (I do have to pee… A LOT).

5. Whenever I am chatting with more traditional Indians I often catch myself jerking my head, side to side, often as they do when they speak. Some people call this “The Indian Head Bob.” I’ve seen it many times and now I tend to subconsciously participate in it (not every Indian does this of course, but I’ve noticed a definite pattern). Sometimes I even do the “Head Bob” when I’m just talking about Indian culture in general.
*Other things I find myself doing when interacting with more traditional Indians: doing the “hand flip” and saying “Ok ok ok” over and over.

And my final quirk…

6. Have you MET my boyfriend?

OK now….

6mile

Ara

CaliforniaTransplant

JukeboxJournal

sf

D

Ok now I know some of you don’t have a blog, so if you want you can just reply with your quirks in my comments section… no one HAS to do these either!!! Hhehe…